Since becoming a mother to our daughter, now 11 months old, I was both pleasantly surprised and shocked that I was able to get back into the studio only 3 months after her birth. I wore her in the Ergo baby carrier or in a back pack, and as a result, my work has taken a totally different and exciting shift.
She’s inspired a new use of color and freer way of working, and that has felt incredibly liberating. She’s helped me become a better problem solver, because I don’t have as many long, extended hours staring at a painting in the studio like I once had. When I had her on my back painting, I had to keep leaving the studio to give her new things to look at, and as a result I was able to see my work with fresh perspectives more often because I kept having to put my brushes sown and leave the work, to later come back and see formal problems that I would probably not have recognized as early as I did. Progress happened much faster. My biggest self-criticism in the past was overworking and over-refining my paintings. And all of a sudden, that was no longer occurring. I had a new sense of restraint because I had to be really specific with that I was doing with my time while in the studio.
When wearing her, I had to keep moving and bouncing, which immediately triggered a more active, lyrical approach to painting, and thus, for me, inspired a totally new body of abstract work which I am continuing to invest my time developing. This change has opened up new challengesthat are extremely exciting to me. I have fallen back in love with painting again. I get butterflies about my paintings in progress, which hasn’t happened in years.
Becoming a mother has changed me. I now see the world differently. I have never witnessed change and growth occur so fast as I have as watching my daughter develop each and every day. The birth of my daughter has heightened my senses and desire to express inner joy, wonder, unknowing, and the search for color in my life to mirror the heightened states of enjoyment that I experience from the simplest of moments in life.
As a young student artist I had zero female professors who were also mothers. Whereas 99% of my of my male professors were fathers with families. This was startling and disconcerting. All my life I have struggled with the notion of how I was going to be a practicing artist who also could raise a family and be a really great parent to my children. I admit that I still have those concerns, as my husband and I would one day like to have a second child and I wonder if that second, wondrous being might be “the straw that breaks the camel’s back”, so to speak. I don’t know.
No matter what, I think there needs to be a larger voice for artist professionals who are mothers not only “making it work”, but also being inspired by giving birth and raising a children. Being a mother is truly a gift, and my daughter has most definitely been a gift to my experience as an artist that I am forever grateful for.
-Cameron Schmitz
This post is part of the (Pro)Create Anthology, a collection of narratives about the intersection of professional studio practice and parenting.
(Pro)Create Anthology 